A special day

2 years ago, my grandmother passed away on 19/4.

I should not be sad because my ah ma has indeed led a very meaningful life. As principal of Zhong Hua Girls High School back in the 70s/80s, she helped shape the characters of many. She was firm when it came to school matters, and it was her strong will that allowed her to fight the widespread communist situation back then, as most of the Chinese schools were the local base for spreading this warped ideology. She was almost had the communist leaders splash acid on her face before, but she held on to her beliefs and never weakened in the face of adversity. She was very well-respected by her colleagues and students. Decades after retiring as principal, the students and teachers, with grey hair, still come regularly to visit her. During the funeral, it was the alumni of the school that sang the departing songs. It was then that my heart cried. It was then that my father cried. He broke down. I have never seen him cry before. Not once. But on that day, the tears just came out. It poured out.

Walking around my house, one would easily identify the numeral accolades and medals and tokens of appreciation that my ah ma has received. One picture shows her shaking hands with Yusof bin Ishak. Another, with Benjamin Sheares. Many certificates, signed by Wong Kan Seng and Teo Chee Hean and Lee Kuan Yew.

I should not be sad because my ah ma passed away in the most peaceful way possible. She departed this world in her sleep, in her home. She did not suffer, she did not struggle. She died of old age.

But I will be sad. Sad because maybe I took her for granted when she was alive. As I grew older and got more tied-down by work commitments, I spent less time talking to my ah ma, despite the fact that her room was just beside mine. In the past it was hours in her room, asking her questions and bothering her with pranks and childish acts. Then it was 40 mins. Then 20 mins. Then it was just a greeting "I have reached home", a response to her question, which was," have you eaten?"and I would say, "Yes."

The day that she passed away, I had 3 tests in school. Normal class tests. I did very well.
The next day, 20th April 2005, it was RICO's SYF. and I would never be able to repeat my performance ever again. It was my best performance ever.

In school, I appear cheery and live seems to go on as normal. But at night, in my dreams, a wise, gracious figure approaches me and tells me to be a good person, to do the right thing and to appreciate and love the people around you.