reflections

花开堪折直需折,莫待无花空折枝.

Dad told me this phrase just now, sounds cheem. It roughly means treasure the things you have now, with you, today, or you 'll regret it.

Ok, from now on, no more lies. No more secrets. No more taking things for granted. No more getting angry over minor things. No more cursing the people that I love (yes i admit sometimes i curse my parents, but who doesn't do that when they angry?). I'll try my best. No more does not mean no more. It is impossible to have no more lies, no more secrets. I'll just try my best to cut them down.

I think tonight I'll dream about Mr Yeo. Then I'll see his smile one last time. Like the smile that ah-mah gave me when she bid me one final farewell 2 years ago. And like the nod of assurance that gong-gong gave me when he passed away. And like the look of humility that my grand-aunt gave when she departed the world.

I think doctors are truly important people. For all my schoolmates aspiring to be doctors, best of luck, for you will be making a difference in the lives of many in the future. Promise me at least one of you will develop new weapons in the fight against cancer and all other diseases. The enemy has taken too many lives. If we want war, we have it. The war now is against diseases.

Death is no longer taboo. It has finally revealed itself.

I am going to sleep with a notebook and pencil beside me, so that when I wake up tomorrow, I can sketch mr yeo's last smile.

And he will tell me, 'it's okay', like he has always done.

i am not emo. i am not emo. i am not emo. i am not emo. i am not emo. i am not emo. i am not emo. i am not emo. i am not emo. i am not emo. i am not emo. i am not emo. i am not emo. i am not emo. i am not emo. i am not emo. i am not emo. i am not emo. i am not emo. i am not emo. i am not emo. i am not emo. i am not emo. i am not emo. i am not emo. i am not emo. i am not emo. i am not emo. i am not emo. i am not emo. i am not emo. i am not emo. i am not emo. i am not emo. i am not emo. i am not emo. i am not emo. i am not emo. i am not emo. i am not emo. i am not emo. i am not emo. i am not emo. i am not emo. i am not emo. i am not emo. i am not emo. i am not emo. i am not emo. i am not emo. i am not emo. i am not emo. i am not emo. i am not emo. i am not emo. i am not emo. i am not emo. i am not emo. i am not emo. i am not emo. i am not emo. i am not emo. i am not emo. i am not emo. i am not emo. i am not emo. i am not emo. i am not emo. i am not emo. i am not emo. i am not emo. i am not emo. i am not emo. i am not emo. i am not emo. i am not emo. i am not emo. i am not emo. i am not emo. i am not emo. i am not emo. i am not emo. i am not emo. i am not emo. i am not emo. i am not emo. i am not emo. i am not emo. i am not emo. i am not emo. i am not emo. i am not emo. i am not emo. i am not emo. i am not emo. i am not emo. i am not emo. i am not emo. i am not emo.

No number of As will bring back mr yeo, or ah mah, or gong gong, or grand-aunt. Counting As and Bs, pretending it is life and death. HOW STUPID.